It was just a matter of time…

As I mentioned in Daddy Dilemma I was getting frustrated with the free WordPress platform because I couldn’t customize the site the way I wanted to. I am a huge fan of WordPress, I’m almost fanatical about them as a blog/website platform. But as I continued to write here I just found myself wanting more from it since I already know what is possible with a self hosted website.

How To Be A Daddy Changes

One of the many things I have learned while blogging was that having a shorter URL really does matter. It’s easier to remember and less likely to be mistyped. For that reason when I bought this domain I also grabbed PlayingDaddy.com. Playing Daddy seemed like a nice domain to use and I wasn’t sure if or when I was going to to use it. Because of the shorter name I chose to make my Twitter profile playingdaddy.

Since the baby blog is really a priority since my baby is a major priority, I wanted to give the blog a home I could look at and be proud of.  So from this point forward all my baby posts will be made on playingdaddy.com.

I really hope that I don’t lose many readers. Most of the growth has been recent so I really would like to think that this is the best time to make this move and my readers aren’t going to hate me for it.

Playing Daddy

All of the posts and comments have been moved over to the new site. I am going to make an effort to post everyday and when the baby comes, there will be an announcement there. I really do appreciate all of the comments on the blog and discussions through Twitter. Being a dad is one of the events I have been excited about for a long time even though it scares the hell out of me.

I’m beside myself in anticipation of the new member of the family. I am sure this is going to be one of the greatest challenges of my life and I am happy to share it with the world online.

Baby Extraction if He Likes it or Not

My wife went into the Dr. to get some questions answered and in the process was told about all the “progess” she has been making. Something about dilation but I don’t want to think about any of that. So even though the due date is Jan. 20th the baby can come any day. I catch myself having a hard time going to sleep at night because I don’t want to be groggy and delirious driving to the hospital at 2am if the time comes. I know it’s a bit counter productive but I’m a bit neurotic these days.

The last month is the worst. All she really wants is to be done with the pregnancy but really would like the boy to be ready and deploy himself. The Dr. had other plans. I don’t know what the typical length of time is before the doctors say is the cut off but I would think it’s at least a couple weeks after the due date. So I was surprised when she explained to me that net week the baby will be here if he likes it or not. Well, she didn’t say it to me like that but that’s what I heard.

So as it seems, if the little man doesn’t decide to come by next Saturday, I’ll be welcoming a new life into the world regardless.

There have been a few defining moments in my life during this pregnancy. first obviously is when my wife told me we were going to be parents, then when we found out the we were having a boy. Both were very significant events. Over the past few months I have been well aware we are having a child and watching the little life form (alien) moving around inside but having the baby and ‘having a baby’ were two different thoughts in my head.

When I got home and heard a specific date was set I had another defining moment. OMG, I’m going to be a dad. I’d be lieing if I said I wasn’t scared. I know I use this analogy alot but I’ve been through a war and I wasn’t as afraid as I am about raising a child. I don’t think I am going to be a bad father, I just worry about being able to give this child everything he’s going to need to be the best that he can be. Unlike running around in camo with other soldiers, I am going to be responsible (as well as my wife) to take care of someone that is completely dependendant on us. Am I weird to be freaked out about that?

So as I said, I am going to be writing more moving forward and I’ll be sure to post when the baby comes. Thanks again for all the comments and support.

Daddy Dilemma

How to be a daddy is going to go through some changes. I have not been posting much and there is no excuses for it. Really, I was planning on explaining the process I have been going through getting ready for the little man to arrive and I was too busy getting ready and not writing much about it. My first failure as a father I guess and I’m sure not the last. With the amount of traffic I am getting here on the small amount of posts I have made, it just shows that parenting blogs have a nice niche to write in.

The little one is due any day now and my wife and I are very excited. She has been doing a great job of blogging about everything on her site and I guess that makes up for some of my missteps. Being the Alpha Male that I am, I don’t want to be shown up by my wife, though I guess if there is someone to be upstaged by…

I’m a pretty active blogger and run many sites based around different topics I’m focused on. I’ve spent the last few months either getting rid of the domains or setting them up to be more automated. In the end I understand once the baby comes home my life and my time is going to be in a constant state of flux. I had to decide what blogs I write in were manditory and which were just nice to have. You see besides my day job, I love to write and my blogs gave me a cahnce to be creative in ways I am not allowed at work. The decisions of what blogs to keep and what to toss was not an easy one but it was needed.

Moving forward. Besides my personal site and a local blog I run, the baby blog will be the only ones I actively write in. It is very important to me to have something the boy can look back on when he’s old enough that will express how important he is to his mother and I during his younger years.

I spend A LOT of time online and I need to spend more time on this blog and get it to the standard I hold for my other sites. So far the baby blog is a failure. This domain name is too long. I bought it because it sounded cool and I bought another at the same time but have not used it yet. I may switch domain names soon to accommodate a shorter URL. I know this will cause some conflicts but in the long run it will be better.

Nursery Complete

The nursery is done. Well, It’s been ready for the baby for a while but all of the details have been added to make it look legit. My wife found these wall decals on Etsy and it adds a nice touch to the room.

The glider came in and it took a bit to decide where to put it in the room but we found a place for it in a corner. I got to put on my Bob the Builder hat and hang some pictures above it. If it were only on picture that would have been easy but I had to use a laser leveler to get the four pictures to match up so perfectly.

The room wouldn’t be complete without a bed for the dog as well. She’s really more of a member of the family that eats off the floor than a regular pet.

The drawers are all organized with baby essentials and I doubt it will remain organized for long.

My wife wants me to induce labor!?!

I don’t get it. I am ready to be a dad (sorta) and I am excited for the boy to arrive but I am willing to wait until the due date of Jan. 20. So why is it that my wife is making me watch videos on YouTube and doing things labeled “induce labor”?

Now the reasonable side of me says that by rubbing my wifes back that the kid is not going to shoot out like an episode of Aliens but what if? Is this normal for husbands to do this stuff for their pregnant wives?

Here comes baby

I haven’t been posting much about the baby but that doesn’t mean much. The past few weeks have been filled with getting more stuff ready for the little one and trying to become mentally prepared for whats to come. Honestly, I’m not.

Good Baby Sleep Tips

Probably one of the hardest adjustments of having a new baby is the lack of sleep that goes hand in hand with your baby needing regular feeds throughout the night. If your baby is hungry it needs to be fed, but there are a few things that can help your baby settle for longer until it is only hunger that will wake him or her in the night. By six months most babies do not need a night time feed if they have fed well during the day and are not ill.

First 9 Months Sleep Advice

* When your baby is newborn, after having 9 months of a nice snug womb and your body noises and motions to settle them, sometimes the adjustment to the outside world can cause more night wakings than is just down to hunger. It is important to remember newborn babies have no concept of time, night or day, so it will take time for them to fall into a pattern. With your help though, it is perfectly possible to have them sleeping through by six months.

* Making sure your baby is ready to sleep first of all is most important. With newborns, as they are so tiny they will mostly drift off to sleep when they are ready but from around 3 months this can change and they may need you to notice the signs of tiredness and help them to settle.

Ready to Sleep Checklist

* Is your baby well fed, clean, dry and winded?

* Is your baby in good health? Illness can either make babies sleep more or make them find it hard to sleep.

* Is your baby tired enough? Some say most newborns up to three months of age find it hard to stay awake more than two hours without becoming overtired and miserable. Some babies yawn, rub their eyes or pull at their ears when they are tired, watch for signs.

* Is your baby too tired? Overtiredness can mean that a baby will find it very hard to settle due to too much stimulation and lack of sleep. A nice dim lit room, a bit of soothing can help your baby to sleep in this case. Trying to catch your baby before he or she becomes overtired will also help.

If your baby is most of these he or she will most likely be ready for a sleep.

* Getting a balance with day time naps can also help your baby to sleep longer. It is generally agreed most babies before 6 months need around 3 naps in a day and will sleep roughly an hour before waking, however all babies are different! If your baby is waking a lot int he night and you dont think it is caused by anything but lack or tiredness have a look at your babies sleep in the day and see if you can help encourage your baby to have less or more at certain times. You can never force a baby though, so if your baby really wont tweak his or her naps, you may have to try again in a few weeks or so.

* Have a think about your babies sleeping place as well to help encourage a more settled sleep. Is the room warm but not too warm? It is recommended a babies sleeping room should be constant between 16-18 degrees. Is the room very light? Some babies may find it hard to settle in a bright room, having the room kept dim can help them settle better and also begin to teach them the difference between night and day as well as teach them that when they go into a dark room it is most likely time for a sleep. Is the room noisy or the surroundings of it? Some babies like to hear noise when sleeping, others can be easily disturbed by it so it could be something to watch for.

* Swaddling is something that can be considered for helping your baby to sleep well. Swaddling is the method of wrapping your baby nice and snug in a blanket, with arms and legs by its sides and only the top of the shoulders and head uncovered. The reason this is believed to work so well with some babies is that it replicates the snug feeling of the womb and also that babies are born with the ‘moro reflex’ (startle reflex) meaning that sometimes when they are drifting off to sleep and their arms and legs begin to go limp, they can get the sensation of falling and suddenly jerk awake. Also any loud noises near by can cause a new baby to fling out its arms and legs in shock and begin to cry. Having your baby swaddled helps control the moro reflex, but it should be understood that not all babies necessarily will like being swaddled. By six months old the moro reflex is minimal or totally gone. Swaddling is really only for the first 3-4 months of a babies life after that, your baby will need to move about a bit and be able to release body heat to prevent over heating.

* If your baby is one who does not like to swaddled, some mums swear by a baby gro bag (baby sleeping bag) that leaves babies arms out and whilst the legs are obviously inside they are not held firm like the swaddle. Being in a baby gro bag has the added benefit that baby will not wriggle out of it and so wake up cold in the night. Be aware though that like duvets there are different thicknesses of gro bags from 0.5 tog being extra light to 3 tog being extra warm. Most gro bags come with instructions regarding this but make sure you have a read before use.

* Having a ‘wind down’ routine can help as well. Although babies below six months are very young to use a routine with, it is possible to have the beginnings of one. Giving your baby a nice lukewarm bath, a baby massage with some oil (even f you dont know how to do this, your baby will love you to just stroke him or her) followed by a breastfeed or a warm bottle of milk in a dim lit room, perhaps even with some low music playing will help your baby realise that when all this is happening, he or she will be in bed soon and be ready to sleep.

* Using aids such as rocking, dummies or feeding to sleep do all help though sometimes your baby can begin to rely on whichever as the only way he or she can settle to sleep, so when your baby wakes in the early hours of the morning, he or she could come to need you to provide whichever aid they are used to sleeping with. If you would like to avoid this, it can help to use rocking or dummy or a feed as a wind down to get your baby sleepy but try to avoid them actually falling alseep whilst in the process. Gently rousing your baby slightly as you settle him or her into bed for the night will help them begin to learn how to settle off to sleep by themselves. If your baby is waking for a feed after 6 months of age and you are certain he or she does not really need to be feeding (talk to health visitor first) then you can begin to dilute down your babies milk to encourage him or her to drop the feed.

10 months to 18 months Sleep Advice

* As your baby gets older, his or her sleeping patterns can change. He or she may need less sleep during the day and become harder to settle.

* Having a set bedtime routine will now be very effective in helping your growing baby understand the signals and become sleepy for bedtime. Again, giving your baby a warm bath, a baby massage with baby oil, and then perhaps going into your babies room and sitting down together, reading a book to your baby, will make for a good bedtime routine. If your baby is old enough, offering a beaker of milk whilst reading will keep your baby calm and settled.

* Some babies like to have a comforter during the long hours of the night. A soft cuddly toy or special comforters such as cuskees bought from mothercare or such places can become your child’s firm friend and help them sleep better. Sleeping with your chosen comforter for a night or two before giving to your child will provide comfort to your child in the fact he or she will be able to smell you from the toy.

* Avoid watching tv too close to bedtime. Most studies conclude babies who watch a lot of tv especially before bed are much more likely to have unsettled sleeps.

* Your child may still be happy to be in a gro bag at this stage, which is totally acceptable and can help gently restrict your babies ability to try to get up and about in the cot. However from12 months of age, it can be a novelty to your baby to introduce a child’s duvet and pillow, especially if you let your child pick his or her own (more around 18 months).

* If you find your baby is waking in the night and the timing is pretty regular, it could be a habit your child has made. To gently break this, there is a method called ‘gradual withdrawl’. This means when your baby cries, you can go in and soothe your baby but without picking your baby up. You can do this perhaps by humming softly or stroking babies forehead. Reassure your baby that you are there. Try to avoid turning bright lights on and talking loudly, keep it nice and quiet and sleepy. After a few minutes, sit by the cot on a chair and keep very softly reassuring your baby that you are there. If your baby is happy to settle knowing you are near by, the following evening if your baby again wakes, this time you can move the chair further away from the cot. Continue moving the chair further away until you are by the door. Once you reach the door you may now find that after a quick reassurance your baby will settle if you leave the room. It can take a few weeks and you should avoid letting your baby become hysterical but being patient, gentle and reassuring and providing there is no other reason for your abby to be waking that for reassurance, he or she should begin to settle soon.

Facing the Fears of Fatherhood

You are truly ecstatic about the impending birth of your baby. But, deep down, you are also grappling with fears regarding your new status as a father. Understandably, you are not quite comfortable discussing these issues with anyone—not even your partner. Actually, this is quite normal. It might help you to identify and evaluate your fears, and take steps to overcome or deal with them.

Financial anxiety: This is one of the most common of fears associated with fatherhood. Childbirth means more than an additional member in the family. In most households, it also means that the dad will now be the sole breadwinner. Reviewing your budget plans is one way you can overcome this fear.

Fear of mortality: There is nothing like the birth of a baby to bring home the fact of one’s own mortality. Suddenly, the realization sinks in that you are not as invincible as you used to believe. This awareness brings with it a growing sense of responsibility. Your family needs you and you cannot take your life as granted any longer.

Relationship insecurity : You may have always thought your partner loved you more than anyone else in the world. Now suddenly you find that there is danger of your special position being usurped by the baby. You also realize that your spouse shares a bond with the baby—one that you are not sure you would be able to equal. It is important for you to face your doubts and come towards an understanding that bringing up a baby is a joint responsibility between both parents. The sad fact for dad is that mom will likely no longer dote on you by making you breakfast or buying your clothes, or at least not as often. Moreover, the baby will come before time with you and even your lovemaking.

In addition, in the short run, for all your sacrifice, you’ll likely only get to hear, “I want mommy.” You have to learn not to take this personally and realize that your big role, at least from what you can discern, in their life will only start to really form after about two years of age.

Commitment anxiety: Perhaps at the back of your mind you’ve always harbored the idea that if things got really bad with your spouse, you could always consider running away. Those thoughts might be fleeting and none at all serious. However, with a baby on the way, there is no more “running away.” The baby is 24/7/365 for the rest of your life. That’s a good thing, but it is also a major change in how you view your independence.

At the same time, motherhood and fatherhood are also “naturally different” and are thus “naturally needed” in a child’s life.

Naming the Baby

The name of your baby is very special for you. You are creating a new life and giving it a suitable name is very important decision. You will give a great start of life of your baby with the great name.

Name should be simple to pronounce, yet it should be uncommon and its meaning will give better idea about your child. So parents should do careful selection of the name.

If it is a baby boy then some communities have tradition of giving the grand father’s name to the grand child. But if that name is old fashioned or difficult then you can make better choice from the smaller and easier name with good meaning.

Boys are normally very active and attracted towards the speed and adventure. They like to become like superhero. The names for boys may include the names of great warriors.

While selecting the first name you should consider your surname. First name should match the surname. Not only it should compliment but also it should not make the full name very big name. If the surname is big then first name should be short.

You should always pay attention to the meaning of the name. The name with good meaning is better choice. Names with negative meanings should be avoided. The great sports man always impresses boys. It is a good idea to name your baby boy after a great player.

When your baby boy will grow he will have to communicate through e-mail, Internet, chat, phones and mobile phones. It is advisable to select the name, which is easy to pronounce. The people using other languages should find it easy to pronounce. The meaning of the name in foreign languages is also important and avoiding the name with bad meaning in foreign language will be wise decision.

Whatever name you choose for your baby boy, it may not necessarily suit your boy. The names for boys may be too much masculine but when the child grows up he may not be that tough and strong. You could not predict the future hence it is better to avoid such names.

Some names can be used for boys and girls also. They are called unisex names. e.g. example Lee, Lane, Robin, Alex.

You should pay attention to the initials of your child’s name. They should not be repeated with any other member of family. Especially siblings should not have same initials it may create confusion in record of vaccination, school record.

Some times initials may create a teasing name like Franklin Alex Tembrook (F.A.T.), which will be irritating for the child in his school days.

After all you give an identity to your child in this world with his name. Hence think about it carefully and be proud of your baby boy’s name.

Setting up the nursery

The past few weekends have been doing a lot of much needed work around the house and the nursery. We had new windows put in around the entire house and much of the work on the nursery was waiting until that work was completed. As of today the windows are in, the crown molding is up and painted and what’s left are boxes of baby furniture that I need to assemble. We chose the Bonavita Peyton Lifestyle Crib.
Anyone want to help?